Now we can move on to the month of May. We experienced Joanne's 1st absent birthday and she and Thurman's 60th wedding anniversary with her absence. So many milestones of her absence so quickly.
On a bright note, we now have two 6 year old since May. Mason and Max both turned six and are ready for 1st grade next fall. I am so proud of them, but find they are growing much too fast.
May included many short trips to the cabin to work on the bathroom. Since the purchase of our place in Pullman, MI the bathroom was the worst, filled with water damage. Bobby and Matt tore it up and replaced the floor, they hung a couple of pieces of drywall and put in the shower. Ron has re-plumbed the shower and tub. He has just about finished the drywall, mudding and sanding. We hope to paint this weekend. Ron wants to complete that project so he doesn't have to go back up for a while. He really wants to get his first love back together. She has been in a state of shambles for 3 or 4 years. The BOSS 429 reunion at the world headquarters is this summer.
When I was a child, all I ever wanted to be was Mrs. Brady. I wanted to have myself a Brady Bunch. It never occurred to me that, that wouldn't be in my deck of cards. I realize now it was just pipe dreams and a real naive goal. I have worked, cooked, cleaned, read and slept for so long, I am a little afraid to go out and reach for the stars; but in my best interest, I must. I have to learn to balance work, home and more personal pleasure.
For those of you that know me, you know that change is challenging for me. Recently I have been seeing a counselor and she enlightened me with a different perspective of critiquing myself. She said, "Actions speak louder than words, my example of PERSONAL high expectations, make others very uncomfortable and are intimidating." I never took to time to think anyone was watching me that closely for one and for two, I never realized I was such a poor example of what NOT to strive for. Wow, what an ego!
Back to change and the stress it causes me, I really don't want to rush into all the re-creation of me so, I begin here. I hope by the time I die, I may have created a Jona that people will love and accept. What I have learned is honesty is not the best policy and people don't want my help, if they do, they will ask. My nurturing instincts are not a personality trait that people necessarily seek after. My dad used to make me count to 10 when I was a child before speaking, maybe he should have had me count to 100.
If people can restore an old car to better than new condition, I do have hope that I can successfully re-create myself. I will never look like some of those classics, but inside, just maybe I can be beautiful and better than new.
"The most delightful surprise in life is to suddenly recognize your own worth." Maxwell Maltz
Namaste to all....
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