One of my biggest struggles is identifying those things I can not control or change. In conjunction with this idea, I have to learn to forgive myself and quit beating myself up over things that I have no control over.
I recently took a couple of days off work to spend with my parents and the kids, fun/rewarding moments for all the hard work I do, day after day, after day. Really bad things developed in my absence which gave me an opportunity to beat myself up over taking off work and feeling like I was being punished for taking time for me. On second thought, wow, wait Jona, I planned way in advance what I needed to get done, what I needed from others, put it in a timeline, shared that with other responsible parties so I can't control what others do or don't do. I am seriously challenged about sharing responsibilities. Everything that goes wrong is not always my fault; it is much easier to type it, than feel and think it.
After a stressful day of cleaning up the mess I came into yesterday morning I am very close to successfully completing this project . I have to upload this report to the state three times a year. I have owned this responsibility for the past 10 years. The very least I can describe it as an extremely intense responsibility that all the district funding rides on. You would think it would be a piece of cake after this many collections, but recognizing it's importance, it still causes anxiety for me.
When I read this quote I thought, this is where I am and the direction I need to maintain on my journey to "re-invent Jona".
"To be healthy, wealthy, happy , and successful in any and all areas of your life you need to be aware that you need to think healthy, wealthy, happy and successful thoughts 24 hours a day and cancel all negative, destructive, fearful and unhappy thoughts. These two types of thoughts cannot coexist if you want to share in the abundance that surrounds us all."
Sidney Madweb
Knowing what happens and how it affects me and after 10 years of reporting, Ron bought me flowers to end my day knowing someone in my life cares. I guess there is still hope out there that you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Namaste to all!
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